today is the start of the rest of my life..
i guess i realized to get over what i needed to understand
i had to start opening up more...getting it down on paper so i could see clearer.
i dont think ive ever known the happiness [M] gives me and yet i push him away.
there are things i can never get over...or maybe i just dont want to.
i push myself into feeling so much more....i push my fears to the limit.
i am more open than in my past relationships...but i end up wanting to know so much more.
i need closure...i need to let go and live and let go and be loved.
but it hurts too much to think of how he might have loved someone else.
i know ive never been so happy....why i cant just keep it at that...i dont know....
ive been hurt so much...burned...cheated on...and i hate comparison.it makes you
question who you are.i know [M] could never cheat on me...i know for the first time in my life... i know and believe.
why oh why did he have to tell me everything he did when we first started dating...its been 5 months and still....pain.
am i insane to still hurt over his past...how even when it was over with...it took him awhile even when we were together already.
is it fair to get into a new relationship when your not over the last one?
and how far do you go asking questions...sharing answers...being honest...
was it right for me to tell him to forget her? he's said nobody has ever loved him like i do...
and i know how much i love....i love with everything in me...i love till it hurts.
i decided to start blogging today.it was time to get over some things....
hopefully when their down on paper thats where they'll stay...and maybe the pain wil fade away.i believe in so much...but dont i sound faithless?
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