so much now who i am...i still fall...
sometimes apart...
a new job...new people..god...
starting over hurts.
it's just what i need to stand up again;
to move..
to get an even clearer picture..
but it's just that somehow,i want to keep things
exactly like they are..
my relationships,my time..my mind...
my heart...my soul..
i know i have to get back to work.
my one month resting has made me lazy.
i need to get up and do something again...
alas....i love being with the people i love...
making a home for them.
yesterday, i was sitting on a bench with [M]
near a coffee shop...watching people go by...
and a woman stopped to say: "you guys look so peaceful...."
~ and we smiled because we were-and are....
i just wish everyday could always be that way.
Then realities of life though change as well.
Just when you thought you understood; believed
...it isn't always what it is.
...i take comfort in what i know...
and yet i love opening my mind to the unknown...
learning...growing...
haa..growing up is so hard... it hurts.
i promise that i won't grow up to be anything
i hate or anything i love.
i promise i will grow up and just be..me.
i promise that things will not change what "is"
and what "is'nt".
what ever changes take place
will never be a hindrance
to what or who i love ~for always.
1 comment:
My feet are cold
I'm about to go pick up some film from a nearby walgreens (union square). I am walking as always. My shoulders hurt. I'm carrying a lot of bags and stuff but it is all neatly packed and portable. A violin, a laptopt, camera and supplies, clothes, and a few other minor things.
So you are gonna email me? I hope so. Thesoulsurfer@yahoo.com
I am nervous about the pictures i am about to pick up. They are important. They might be horrible. If they are good - i will flip out with joy - if they are bad - i'll just go on learning and try not to let it get me down. I'll work hard to make it up somehow. But that's gonna be pretty sucky if they dind't come out. The reason I'm worried is because its a lot of guess work using the flash with a manual camera. Thats the only concern i really have - and that the shots are clear cause it was dark and hard to focus. I am about to find out tho.
Would love to see your town that you speak of. Also I would love to run into you here in the city.
Matt
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