sleeping on toilets....

i dont think im a party girl...
ive been known to get very drunk and fall asleep
on toilets or in bathrooms...

i think i must be past that...i did enjoy myself quite a bit. Got into quite a bit of trouble.

i would much rather have a big dinner in or out with friends...
happy, shiny friends...sharing plates of pasta and wine..listening to music...walking and talking when the weather is right..

does that make me boring?

i used to sing in a band...drink lots of beer...
i used to go to bars a lot...

i never liked clubs...all that noisy music...all those noisy people.

i am quite melancholic...i like quiet...
and yet i like to have people around me...

maybe im older..is that an excuse though? ...to not be as social..to not want to meet new people?

i never use to live here...i dont know a lot of people here.
im scared people will step on my values and principals.

i am no hypocrite... i know once in awhile i go against what i believe in...but i know my limits.

it's like when you are younger and you keep doing the same thing and keep getting into trouble~
at one point you stop and think... "what the hell..im so tired of this..."
then you make some changes... or you would stand and fall over and over again without pausing to evaluate what you could turn around or fix...

i dont try to reinvent myself...i do what feels right and good.
i need that missing puzzle piece...that next step.

i wonder what it's going to turn out to be.